Order in the Court

Who gets to decide what’s "right" and what’s "wrong", what’s “appropriate” and what’s “acceptable”?

As the bazillion people on this planet grow and change from day to day, it is clear that a variety of lifestyles take place all around the world. How dull and predictable life would be if you never had a friend call to tell you she just found out she’s pregnant. Or that she’s interested in seeing women after all these years. Or that she’s quitting her successful day job to pursue her passion of crocheting children's clothes, in Peru.

Whatever the scenario may be, one thing is for sure; life happens in an instant and we rarely have time to prepare for it. There isn’t a manual on what to expect or how to react and when things flip upside down overnight, those closest to us can sometimes be the most judgmental.

Often the judgement is based out of fear. Fear of not understanding how a situation could possibly work out for the better. Fear that we won’t be able to protect them anymore. Fear that we don’t have control over anything that happens to us or those close to us.

We have all been conditioned since coming into the world to draw a line down the center of a piece of paper, labeling one half "good" and the other "bad". We became comfortable with these categories and what events went where. Parents argue, bad. Eat ice cream, good. Disagree with your elders, bad. Work out until you're in pain, good. Everyone's piece of paper completely subjective based on how they were raised, what happened in their lives and how those around them responded.

Everything happens to teach us something. As humans, we are able to accept the current happenings in our lives by perceiving them as a fundamental steps to advance our personal development. Dan Gilbert, Harvard psychologist and author of “Stumbling on Happiness” says that a person has the psychological immune system to feel truly happy even when things don’t go as planned.  This system of unconscious cognitive processes helps to change our views of the world so that we can feel better about the circumstances we find ourselves in.

To sum it up, it turns out we aren’t very good at predicting our own bliss. That often, the teacher that kicked us out of class, the lover that left us or the dream job we never got, all happened for the best. That we can decide that life is happening to us or for us. That any situation can be a challenge to grow through and become stronger or seen as a curse, a case of bad luck.

At the end of your days you will have wished you lived your life for you. That you didn't waste years upon years caring so much about what everyone else thought. That you could show up each day being wherever you were, knowing very well, that it was right where you were supposed to be.