No Matter What

I do a lot of reflecting in my life. Try, walk, stumble, fall, learn. What did you gain? How did you grow?

Try again, climb, stumble, fall, learn more. What did you gain? How did you grow?

Again. It's worth another try. Climb quicker, stumble, fall harder, it hurts, learn much more. What did you gain? How did you grow?

I was raised to look for the silver lining in everything. My mom wanted my life to be fun, a celebration among the chaos and the darkness. It became a skill of mine to look for the light in any situation. In deep pain, there must be something to gain here. Somehow.

When presented with these dark but light situations, I immediately put on my thinker's cap. "What's going on here? Why is this taking place? Am I breathing? Okay, cool." Round one observations remind me that, at the very basic level, things are manageable. Not optimal but I breathing, I am grateful. So even when things are hurting, I am still grateful. I start there. Round two brings creative problem solving and positive outlooks on what could be. Won't be now, I am hurting now, but will be sometime. Round three calls for trust. In unlimited possibilities, mind blowing opportunity and deep, inspiring, fleeting moments of euphoria.

To revisit what I am grateful for, I ask myself, "What do I have, no matter what?" The answer keeps me feeling light and energized, excited and hopeful. Trusting enough to let go to discover the net there, waiting for me to fall, to show little me, there's nothing to be so worried about. So, again I try. What can I gain? How can I grow?

Shout out to the things I have, no matter what.