When was the last time you did something, just because?
The last time you made something, just to make it?
That you said something, just to say it, not dependent on what would be said back?
That you gave something, just to give, without a return promise?
We're so wrapped up in deeming ourselves "successful" by the barometers that society has put in place for us that we no longer spend our time doing the just because things.
And this is where it gets scary: everyone doing something for an outcome they aren't even sure they care about, or even believe in.
Say, moving out for example and getting your own place. Or getting married and having kids. Landing the job your degree was necessary for. Great. Tons of people doing this stuff and it's great! BUT HOLD ON JUST ONE MINUTE. Are you making these choices out of fear? Out of the panic that your youth is drying up every day that comes and goes? That your eggs won't be around? That the clock is ticking and you've already been with this person so long so you might as well lock it in and start looking for wedding rings and houses? Requests from family to give them grandchildren before their time runs out?
Okay, call me crazy but ^^^^^^^ is crazy talk!
For years after college I'd run into people throughout San Jose and do you know what most would ask me as a measure of my success? "Have you moved out yet?" To which, for the first few years, I'd reply back in embarrassment with long explanations of how great my mom was, that I was looking at grad schools or states to move to, this or that. I ran into this question so often that I actually started to believe I was lame. That living at home in my early twenties was something to be ashamed of.
Society convinced me that the way I was living my life, as it was, did not measure up as successful. And I'm willing to bet that it's doing the same thing to you, right this moment. Making you question why you do it all anyway? Is it worth it? There's a pang in your heart that says something isn't right, but to appease the masses you give away all your just because moments in exchange for because everyone else is doing it. Without ever asking yourself why...
We're obsessed with what everything looks like instead of what it feels like. Paying all the money we work hard to earn, to dress ourselves up in coolest clothes, adding more things into our lives. Cluttering the space, adding more appointments and obligations to our already never ending to-do lists. Crazy talk.
I can't say this stuff is easy. It isn't. And that's why when we peer around, we see a whole lot of good LOOKS but not a whole lot of good FEELS. In your own private space, I know, I know! that you are more invested in coming alive than appearing skinny to your girlfriends, social media or the guy you like. You've just been convinced over all these years that you suck in every way (which is so so so false) and that the only way to suck less is to look good. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I challenge you to do something this weekend just because. To reacquaint yourself with feeling an experience instead of worrying so much about what it looks like. And, if you find yourself stuck in the habit of looking, do so deep within.