Andre told me yesterday that he loves all my alterations. *Freeze*
Well, at least my brain did. Taking a mental picture frame around what was said, what was heard and more importantly- what was felt. And poof! Gone forever. And for me?
Well, I was changed forever. in that moment. in ways I won't know for years. but something exploded inside of me. Something small but magnificent, confirming that whoever I truly was, at this point in time, was going to evolve because the very principle of life's expression is to become greater, expand upon everlasting Love. So people get frustrated because nothing ever seems to be enough. Not ourselves. Our marriage. Our lover, our things, our jobs etc. And if you're on this quest to seek riches then you will come to a point in time where you realize none of this matters. Maybe it will be when people start passing away. Or when a freak accident occurs. At once you are hit with the realization that life is fleeting and because of that constant, is precious and valuable.
Precious and valuable. Your life and mine. Our whole world's life. All of which is happening congruently, right now.
At this time last year I was in Nepal, just barely settled into Bhaktapur and coming close to the worst sob session of my life. Day 7 in a country that just lost over 8,000 lives the month before from the earthquake. What was meant to stand was in rubble all around me (businesses, homes, monuments, etc.) The air of the entire country was solemn yet filled with an acceptance that made the whole thing lighter. Everywhere I went I tried to - make sense - of the world around me, to filter it with all my informative lenses and store what was relevant. What we miss when we are living out-of-our-mind and *detached from our body* is what is actually happening in. the. present. moment. right in front of us.
The first week in Nepal brought me to complete dismay not because of what was, but because of the constructions I had built in my mind preventing me from experiencing it. in. my. body. This is a hard concept for many of us to understand because it is so clear to us that we have a body. However, is it clear to you how informative and powerful your body is for your mind, instead of the other way around? We talk, talk, talk about all the practices to strengthen the mind, optimize it and break down every feature. In the process, many of us have forgotten that the body and mind, mind and body are a unit working in unison. Not separate from one another. We discredit our bodies because most of us have learned to hate them. After all, what we believe about them is that they are disgusting, and no matter what, not enough. It's crazy! The one physical practice many have is lumped under the title "exercise" as a box on a list to check off, sweat it out, *no pain, no gain*, power/push your way through. In exercise we can see that one can still be disassociated from their body and if that is so, you can't fully be here.
What does this mean? It means you have alterations. And to alter means to make structural changes, to tailor for a better fit. And not just any fit, but your fit. Every alteration is necessary and welcomed.
So, you have alterations.
This means you are not expected to
1. Stay the same
2. Never change your opinion on anything
3. Do it alone
So, enjoy the unraveling of all the stories. All of societies scribbles written across your bright, bright face. Become the hunter for truth, the gatherer of experiential knowledge. Underneath the make up, underneath the skin, underneath it all, is something much grander. All it takes is a moment to choose to look inside... and a moment can change your life.
When all seems to be lost and you're at your last end, remember what you are able to cultivate within. Impenetrable joy, indestructible peace.
"Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer!" Rilke