If you're reading this I assume you somehow know me, or about me from a story, a story I hope was a wonderful one. I love when people tell me that they found this blog and feel better in their lives somehow. That is freaking beautiful. Hi beautiful You. Thank you for sticking with me through this. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to lose it. Like this big heart is going to explode out of misappropriation of use and energy. See, there's something you should know about me if you don't already.
I have TREMENDOUS amounts of energy and interest in evolving and exploring and loving PEOPLE, THIS EARTH AND ITS INHABITANTS. Sometimes my biggest tragedy, usually the best reason to be here anyway. But then stuff like this happens in full force and everyone is so connected electronically, so broken empathetically. It hurts me. So I run around the kitchen, listen to Trevor Hall, screaming out about this devastation around the world, releasing the hurt from my body because that shit will stagnate and cause cancer. That is no myth.
Growing up I was a social butterfly and did well in school. Very well actually, mostly A's but I wasn't "smart enough" to be getting into Stanford and my STA scores were just average. I don't remember people ever telling me I was smart. I didn't understand why we took so many multiple choice tests in school. While people tried to memorize patterns to optimize the odds of a higher grade, I voted for the essay, long answer, every time.
Why didn't anyone want to talk to one another to work it out? To talk about it and celebrate the grappling, the movement? I always loved debate. My mom thought I would grow up a lawyer. I just loved to advocate. Because EVERYONE deserves an advocate. Including yourself. To challenge perspective and inspire new depth, greater awareness.
I remember junior or senior year or whenever you're applying for colleges in high school, they called our class into the library to send our online applications over. I had a close friend in the class and we helped each other through it. I had no idea what I was doing, what to click, or why? I declared myself an Art Major on most of my applications without realizing what they were asking me to specify. I didn't understand how I was supposed to know all this, at this point in my life, without much thoughtful leadership and guidance about what was cool and interesting about ME. How did anyone know this for sure, what they were supposed to do for the rest of their life? Were we even supposed to be doing something, one thing, for the rest of our lives? That didn't make sense to me within our human nature because we *know* the only thing constant is change* and *insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results* Sound familiar?
Ya know, now that I think of it, the first "real job" I had, as proof that my college degree/my whole education up to that point/my belief systems weren't all a hoax, was with Seneca Family of Agencies. This was a nonprofit organization that worked with the most bruised youth you could imagine. Foster kids, drugs, homeless, violence daily. It's real in our neighborhoods. We need to wake up and start helping our communities. I was the Community Partnership Coordinator and they had never had the position before. Here you go, Heather! Have fun! Community. Partnership. Coordination. How did I not realize this? This is all I have been doing my whole entire life. Looking at my surroundings, at the population, connecting people to who they need to know through conversation and debate and making light of as much of it as I can. Holy shit. I've been me, doing what me does best, my whole life?
!!!!!!!!! YES, AND SO HAVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!
In your own unique ways. Music, sport, art, language, travel, relationship, loss, YOUR LIFE IS YOUR UNIQUE WAY. NOT A PIECE OF PAPER. TIME TO START THE HUNT WITHIN AND GET TO KNOW WHAT IS FREAKING UNSTOPPABLE INSIDE. Because I can tell you this: once you find it, YOU WON'T EVER PUT IT DOWN. It came in as Yours and that it will stay. Figure out who you are and not because I want you too, but because what else is there to do, worth doing, anyway?
Now this is an important part. ARE YOU LISTENING? Education is so important right now. Gaining intelligence, seeking challenge and development is KEY right now. We are where we are because of misinformed, lazy, angry, weaponry. Responding back in a similar manner will explode into a war of the world. Which apparently, welcome, we already are. Look around. What's uncommon? Danger, fear, death and rape? OR LOVE, COMPASSION, CARE. I will help. There are people who WANT to help, who have nothing but desire to help. BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN THERE. THEY KNOW YOUR HURTS. FIND YOUR PEOPLE. Church. Yoga. Sangha. Community. Find your community and get in there. Get known, be known, SHARE YOUR TRUTH.
I've seen so much devastation, up close. I have heard many trembling voices of fear, asking for healthier lives. Looked into countless eyes begging I stay close to show a better way. I have lived with the suffering my whole life as have you, and it is time for change. Our hearts burn, yearn for this. Now.
I am blessed to have had the experiences in my life thus far. They have shattered and humbled me to the core and left me with one thing: Unconditional Love.
This is what we need and this is how we build. UP. Foundation laid down. We are doing the groundwork here and now. Every time you OPEN your heart toward another when it's been trained to hide, to attack, to remain silent, YOU ARE BRAVE. YOU ARE A WARRIOR OF LOVE. OPEN THAT HEART. LET IT SING. LET IT RAIN ALL THAT PAIN OUT OF YOUR BODY. OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM. GET IT OUT. AND LET US BE LEFT WITH YOU. BEAUTIFUL YOU. BARE AND BEAUTIFUL YOU.