"When are we going to go on the roller coaster Mommy?!!!" I hear her say.
Headed to New York, New York with a crew of 9, ready to ride.
"Is it time to go on the roller coaster Daddy?!!!" I hear her say.
About to purchase the tickets, everyone grinning, out of excitement or anxiousness is hard to tell.
"Heather, can we go together?!!!" I hear her say, so we choose our cart.
Over the loud speaker we hear "The ride has been delayed due to unpredictable weather conditions."
And...... I started thinking. The ride has been delayed due to unpredictable weather conditions... and...... we will restart later, or go get your refund, or anything! Instead, nothing else said.
Waiting, wondering, waiting and wondering, watching her spew questions.
"Why aren't we getting on?!!!"
"What do you think happened?!!!"
"Did the other carts get stuck?!!!"
"What's going to happen to us if we do get on and the weather is dangerous?!!!"
Over the loud speaker we hear "The ride is back in business, please step aboard."
We get into the cart, buckle up, lock in, compressing to keep everything safe.
We hold hands, smile for the photo and we're off!
The roller coaster leaves the dock and takes its first turn out into the open air.
"Noooo, noooo, noooooo!!!!!!!!! Stop, stop, staaaaaap!!!!!!!" I hear her screaming.
"Get me off, now, right nooooow!!!!!!!"
Firmly grasping her hand, very aware that there is nothing I can physically do to fix this situation causing her pain, I ask her to look at me.
preparing for the first
She refuses to look at me which challenges my motherly instincts and forces me to accept what is taking place in that moment.
We reach the top and she will not, can not, stop wailing.
This is the biggest roller coaster she's ever been on.
I squeeze her hand and remind her to look at the clouds, take good breaths, to use her screams as a way to create breath if the drops take it out of her, and hope that the pain she's feeling is soon dismissed.
tears pouring from her eyes
catching shape with motion
landing us to the finish line
unaware of what exactly just took place within
for the both of us.
I thought about how she reacted and how, naturally, our instincts will lead the way. Terror, anxiousness and excitement are all expressions of hormonal and cellular fluctuation in the system responding to external stimulus. How you interpret fear will create wide range results. Like right before giving a speech, or trying something you haven't done before, or getting on an airplane. The same feelings in the body can be understood differently, depending on how you interpret this particular set of fears. Are you walking into a cauldron of blood and warfare or are you simply expanding your horizons? Are you giving this a-go to learn something new, see what happens or are you doing this to prove something?
We are a mixing pot, not only as a country, but within ourselves. Any experience can create a variety of outcomes depending on how our internal dialogue goes.
How many of you have stepped up and gotten on board Your Life Rollercoaster, only to assume the worst, expect the harshest and demand dialogue that limits expression and curiosity?
Did you step on wanting a good time?
Do you believe that it's even possible to do so?
What you believe is what you create.
Take a look around, do you like what you see? (this includes yourself)
If you don't,
that work doesn't start with me
but with you,
only if you want it to.
(and I hope you do)