Why does sisterhood matter anyway?


he's your sister, always by your side
Inspired by one another
Silly from time to time
Teaching without intention
Experiences all her own
Reaching out for a hand to hold
Having battles she must fight alone
Outside of herself
Or peering deep within
Details in the fabric create a bond that's never been

I wrote this for my sister years ago and rediscovered the crayon crammed poem today.

I have a black belt in friendship and deep love of the women around me from a lifetime of practice with my mom and my sister. The dynamic of our house has always been bold, stated out loud, transforming, from one thing to the next and filled with multitudes.

Women are deeply feeling, expansive creatures. The matriarchy refers to women as Lady of the Beasts. That makes sense to me when I think about all the feels that have graced me in my lifetime, some of which seem to nearly desecrate me.

So why does it matter to know this?

If you believe you shouldn't be feeling what you are and the women around you also feel that way and no one is talking about it, we have a huge problem. We seek from our one intimate partner what was once given to us by being part of a community, a tribe.

Women were once around groups of other women during their cycles, their ups and downs, their very real realities. You didn't have to explain why you felt the way you did or what needed to change to solve it. All the women understood that spending time around each other while in pain or struggle was all that was needed.

Empathy= sit in the dark with another and leave the advice at home.

With Sister Roots turning 1 at the end of the month (click here if you want to join the celebration!) it has become clear to myself and countless other women what kind of medicine is needed to heal a wound. It isn't a quick fix solution or a painless promise. It isn't better clothes or more likes. It's in-front-of-my-own-eyes sisterhood. Real and honest, raw and seen, sisterhood.

So, what do we do in Sister Roots? We learn how to show up for ourselves with tender hands, hoping one day to hold with care. We learn how to sit in the dark with another, without shoving our discomfort in their face. We see their pain and it runs deep and by doing so, we feel our own pain and allow its depth. We discover that by honoring this process we find even deeper reserves of joy and unlimited love expanse. And then we bask in it all, together.


Lucky me.