Homeward Bound

When there's too much on my mind, the loud clamor felt throughout my entire body, interested in running the whole show, I do a few things to take back my narrative.

1. Sit and breathe
Phone is not on loud or vibrate and is not in the room with me.
2. Shower or bath
Phone is not on loud or vibrate and is not in the room with me.
3. Walk outside and watch
Phone is with me in case of emergency or tiny sweet flowers newly budding.
Phone is in pants pocket so my hands or torso do not feel the pull to reach for it.

Walking outside and watching has become the most rare lately, though I was doing it much more at this time last year. Creating a business, or any life at all that intrigues you, excites you and demands you come out of your closet time and time again, is a commitment. It is enduring an exploration that has much hidden from you and much to teach.

The noise in our life gets loud and we need to find ways to be with ourselves when the sound is screaming.

One morning I woke to a mind like scrambled eggs where my sitting and breathing practice seemed to underline and bold the mess more than alleviate it.

I showered, still loud.

I decided, because it was a lofty weekend morning, to make a cup of tea and take a walk. I couldn't remember the last time I wandered through the neighborhood and was semi happy to be seeing it through and semi wondering if I really needed to.

Half way down the street from out my front door, I looked down to see these stones placed in great patterns. The mixture of green and grey, plant and stone, corners and circles, grabbed my attention. I got closer up to the placement of the rocks and could almost feel the intention.

From across the street walks Susie. Susie in her seventies, had a collapsed lung keeping her at Good Samaritan for over a month, becoming well enough to come back home. It was her yard that had captured me and from a neighbor's view she wondered what I was doing precariously close to her property. I expressed the adoration for the lay out and design of her place and she replied, "you should see the back!"

Most of the stones Susie laid down were collected from different places around the world and the patterns she placed them down in, all had purpose.

Before parting she said, "I'd like to say have a good life but what I'm going to say is, life is unpredictable."

As I meandered around the block, turning down the next street, I walked beneath a bloomed cherry blossom tree as the wind rolled by, small petals falling over me.

I was getting close to the end of the street and I heard a younger girls voice screaming.

"DADDY! DAAAADDDDDDY!!!! DAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

Getting louder and louder, begging and pleading for his attention.

I wondered what the scene inside the house must've looked like and I could feel the inside of me desperately hanging onto her repeated word.

I kept walking, this last turn had me heading home.